Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
