If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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