I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize