lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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