Little spoons don't ask big questions
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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