just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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