is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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