That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
