4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize