this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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