I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.