you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me