So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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