Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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