i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
