Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
