she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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