i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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