some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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