Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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