Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everyone says I win the strip club
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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