FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
