tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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