You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
