Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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