dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
