How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Let's paint friendship bongs
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
