My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
