youre lurking in front of me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
