I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
