too bad you live with your parents still
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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