How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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