'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
