my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she peed on how many people?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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