i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
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Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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