Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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