so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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