PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
