I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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