You can't motorboat a personality
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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