I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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