I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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