What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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