I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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