you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
