she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
