I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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