Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you had me at cake vodka
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
