I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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