Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize