IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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