after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
