Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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