# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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