So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
