that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
