Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
