My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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