i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
