Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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